MJB SCRIPT REVIEW | JAWS

“𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗮𝘁…”

Literally fizzing this week. This is one of three or four scripts that inspired me to start writing this blog over 18 months ago. One of my favourite films of all time. Having read the book and seen all the behind the scenes stuff, this is the final frontier…; JAWS.

Plot in a nutshell: On the eve of the biggest summer weekend on the island town of Amity, a great white shark stalks the surrounding beaches. Bloodbath ensues as a rusty old sharkhunter, a marine biologist and a sheriff afraid of the water, take on this nightmare.

The book is terror personified. So as the author took on scripting duties here, I had high hopes.

Yes, they are (mostly) fulfilled. The script trips along at a reliable pace, the characters are all engaging and realistic. The dialogue in particular is lots of fun and easily relatable to how this small town would interact. So there’s plenty there to recommend it. But let’s dig in deep and see what’s really happening…

So, what did I learn from JAWS?

1. Dialogue - As if the author had lived in Amity himself. Small town dialogue with that sense of enclosed ecosystem, combined with a small town judgmental approach that tries to embiggen itself through unnecessary comments. Small problems made large until a real problem smacks them on the nose, and then we really get drama. (Wouldn’t have had the same effect in New York!). The characters who have actually lived outside of Amity (the Brody’s, Hooper and Quint), seem to be the only ones who can rise above hysteria, and, what they don’t say, separates them from the rest of Amity. That there, is clever dialogue writing.

2. Actors - There are dozens of supporting roles here for just about every type of personality out there. From the bumbling and inept fisherman to the overly controlling politician, it’s hard not to find somebody here you can either relate to or despise. If I had to take a stab, the three main roles of Hooper, Brody and Quint are indeed cracking (shared) lead roles, with plenty of meat on the bones. But a big shout out to Ellen Brody, as the Chiefs long suffering wife. Yes it’s the standard supporting wife role, but there’s something more here. There is care, concern, needs… I’ve seen lesser roles fleshed out and given prominence with little to no substance. Really like Ellen.

3. Action Directions - The opening is stunning. Just…stunning. Beautiful, terrible, real. Mesmeric. The elegiac landscape. The young couple and the sexual teasing. The water. That moment. At this point I stopped caring about passing on advice and just revelled.

4. Action Directions 2 - …but, as we dive deeper into the script, there becomes a familiarity with the construction of the stage directions. I’ve always found I can tell when a script has been written by an author, or the author of the source material. The action directions can feel long, detailed, and at times, a bit of a slog. As I have said before, there’s nothing wrong with a slog. But if you want a producer to be wrapped up and want to fund this thing, I’ll take pace over description any day. However, where the descriptions do get into it, they are fantastic. You see and hear everything you need to, and the world is fully realised. Peter Benchley is no slacker. He’s carried it from the book to the script with capable ease and it’s difficult not to feel that you (or certainly the cast and crew) are getting everything you/they need in order to realise this world.

5. Action directions 3 - quick respectful nod to the nautical references here. Any time there’s action (or discussion) around boats, the correct terms (I had to look them up!) are used. Great research used correctly.

6. Story - It’s Jaws. Short of lightsabers or Don Corleone, you’re going to struggle to find someone who hasn’t at least heard of this story. Its simplicity is its secret weapon. Weary protagonist hunts legendary creature to protect family/homestead/way of life/etc. Cave folk have been painting this story. But done right, it has a real pull. The secret is to build the tension and this puppy revels in its lack of reveals and its focus on the rising panic in town. This adds impetus to our heroes plight and an edge to proceedings. This creature needs to be caught NOW! By the time you get to the finale in the boat, this creature has become a terrifying God…

7. Story 2 - it doesn’t take long to see that this isn’t the final shooting draft and many changes are still underway at this point. Hell, it doesn’t even follow the book at some points! But the aim of the script to get to its denouement is there and key touchstones (the death of little Alex, Ben Gardeners boat, the first shark catch) remain. Point is, if you were breaking down key moments in your script to be a part of the story and if they’re strong and work, you’ll struggle to get rid of them. Also, for those out there wishing to write a script based on a book, you could do worse than read this as an example of how to get it right. What places to touch on, which moments are essential and most importantly, which characters are the primary drivers of the story.

8. Finale - p.78 and we’re into it. The Orca. Immense in the film, it passes as further action in the script. But there is a definite sense that we are heading towards an actual confrontation, rather than the shark just slaughtering some other innocent. By the time we’re in the thick of it, all the riveting touchstones are there; the shark injury comparison stories, the first viewing of the shark, the barrels… Just excellent use of moments that change the tension and draw you in deeper into this seaborne trauma fest that these three guys are trapped in. Yes, it is different to the end film, which makes for fascinating reading. It is still just as riveting, with pulse pounding moments climbing over each other to get to the front. But by the end, you’re breathless. So if this was just a draft and they felt they needed to rewrite this, that certainly goes to show you that sometimes what works, still isn’t good enough for some creators. But hey, if it was me, I’d be really happy with this draft.

So this script isn’t the final shooting version. It’s probably about 80% of the way there. Hooper is certainly a different character compared to the end result in the final film. I can definitely see why they rewrote his character, as this guy comes across as more arrogant than fun. That was how the character was written in the book, but I definitely think the end version is far more appealing to audiences, as was proven.

I have to confess, this wasn’t as an amazing read as I had hoped it would be. Don’t get me wrong, it is an absolutely stunning screenplay, and well worth a read. But I have read more riveting and absorbing scripts previous to this (The Matrix and A Quiet Place to name but two), and with the exception of the finale and the scenes in the boat, it tosses and sways like a dinghy in the wind. But hey! That’s what rewrites are for!

I can still heartily recommend that you give this a read though. It will certainly be a very entertaining couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon. Anchors aweigh!

Link to the script:

https://thescriptsavant.com/movies/Jaws.pdf