MJB SCRIPT REVIEW | PREDATOR

“𝗜𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀, 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁.”

Blood made from glow sticks. Jean-Claude Van Damme fired for passing out. Jesse Ventura’s Arms an inch thicker than Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Who knows? Who cares! All we care about here is the legendary script that is HUNTER…

Oops, sorry!

Let’s go with its more commonly known (and far more popular title)…PREDATOR.

Plot in a nutshell: A team of commandos on a supposed rescue mission in a Central American jungle, find themselves hunted by an extraterrestrial warrior. Badassery ensues…

Straight in, for a script like this to be successful (science-fiction based around an alien hunting a bunch of hard nut soldiers), you’re going to need some unforgettable characters. You can’t just have a standard bunch of characters going in there and spouting some spontaneously poor dialogue. So the writers have crafted some definite every man types, and then turned them superhuman. All these guys are somebody you’d know, but ramped up to 11 with testosterone upgrades and more than a little bravado. It really helps, as it gives their personalities something to rely upon down the line for eking out how serious/funny/odd/scary a situation is. Weaknesses, strengths, jokes, threats, platitudes…you name it. These guys have an opportunity to use it.

Which leads me to the next strong point of this script.

It does not hang around.

For fans of Save The Cat or many other writing methods, the action is kicking in by page 10. No mucking about, no wasting time. Straight in. And this script, in particular, is razor sharp at getting on with it and keeping you jacked in there.

At times, I definitely think this script suffers from a little bit too much ink, especially within the action directions. Each of the scenes requiring exposition, from the battle at the guerilla village to such tense little segments as the campsite overnight and the first two attacks on our little unit by the Predator, are all beautifully crafted and rammed full of detail. But, there are definitely moments where there’s simply no need to know when someone looks at someone else, or if there are animals in the jungle making noise for the 50th time. But these are minor niggles and there are definitely moments where more does the job. However, a little less ink would have made the turn of each page less daunting to read for a busy producer.

The end battle differs to the final film’s denouement, which always helps to assess the writing away from the end cinematic product. It feels a little bewildering and at times the action can feel too busy. An underwhelming sense of “that’s it?” for the creatures final death sequence, screams for change, which thankfully was forthcoming in a later draft. Yet, it still achieves the neat trick of turning the tables on the Predator, from hunter to hunted, predator to prey. So kudos there.

Ahead of its time when it came out and now sorely overdone ever since (my favourite rip-off being Outlander with Jim Caviezel, which I can heartily recommend), there is always joy in checking out an OG script, and this is one of many that peppered the 80’s.

So, what did I learn from PREDATOR?

1. Dialogue - at times minimal, but to the point. These soldiers don’t waste any time in what they need to say and even less words when they need to make a point. There is a thick wad of 80s bravado across the whole manuscript, peppered with chunky, cheese filled morsels of macho dialogue (especially for Dillon). But at its heart, there are some cracking lines in there and the script was clearly written with Schwarzenegger in mind. I don’t know if any of us are ever going to get lucky enough to write for a major star and create a vehicle around them, but you can certainly tell that the writers had him in mind when they wrote this. Just brilliant and a solid example of how to write for a huge action star.

2. Actors - I’m not entirely sure where to start with this one. If you’re going to play a soldier, you certainly need to do your research. It depends on how deeply entrenched into the role you are. Harrison Ford in Apocalypse Now had a minor role as an intelligence officer, so probably didn’t need military training for the role. But these guys did. So bear in mind that when you’re reading the script and it looks physical, it’s probably going to be really physical. So stay fit!

3. Unit dynamic - The script absolutely nails a small unit of soldiers working in unison to achieve a goal. Pages 13–20 really embrace the technical details, team movement patterns and even the knowing glances to each other of seasoned soldiers who are very comfortable and familiar with each other‘s working behaviour. Some stunning research. Because hey, if the writers made this stuff up, it’s helluva fantastic reach!

4. First sighting of the creature - around page 18, we are given the first glimpse of the alien hunter. Mesmeric use of imagery through a butterfly landing on its foot, and the light display of changing armour settings, spark imagination even now. It’s a brief description, barely a few lines. Yet it really creates the feel for what this creature is and how dangerous it might be. If you’re looking to introduce a creature for the first time into your script that you believe hasn’t been seen before, this is a fantastic example of how to kill at it.

5. The Guerilla village scene - this is a masterful piece of warfare script work. Not grandscale war such as World War I or some Napoleonic battlefield, but a small skirmish between 40 or so soldiers and a crack unit of shit-hot soldiers. A good 10 to 15 pages, if you’re going to write a battle scene, this is an absolute must read. Normally I would shirk away from reading a lot of ink, as it can get a bit tiring. But every sentence in this strip is needed. Excellent and a real helping hand to the director and stunt coordinators.

Lots and lots of fun and at the time must’ve been a spellbinding read when it first came out. Still holds that excitement and intensity, with some really beautifully written descriptions and entrances for both the Predator and the other characters.

Definite learning lesson here though, that once you’ve done the first couple of drafts, take a look at your action directions. Less is usually more. Or as Arnie would probably say when there’s a bit too much ink; “Get to da Chopper!”

Link to the script:

https://thescriptsavant.com/movies/Predator.pdf